Melissa Micului Paris

Cu totii ne regasim in ea mai devreme sau mai tarziu, poate nu si in brutalitatea actiunilor ei, cel putin, nu mereu, dar in majoritatea gandurilor si fricilor ei, ne-am identificat cu totii.
Se plimba singura pe strazile orasului, vrea sa fie libera si totusi, se incatuseaza si consuma in banalitati ce nu-i aduc niciun strop de satisfactie.
Isi poarta parul desprins, ii place sa il simta ciufulit de vant, mirosul de asfalt incins si ochelari de soare sa isi acopere privirea. Fiecare pereche de ochi, are in spate o poveste, de obicei, una care te face sa te cutremuri si te infioara.
A incercat de atatea ori sa evadeze incat a devenit prinsa in propriul plan de a se elibera, de ce anume? Nici ea nu mai stie. Asculta muzica la casti, foarte tare, cat sa poata bloca orice alt sunet din jurul ei, neriscand sa pice in postura in care sa fie nevoita sa poarte o conversatie cu cineva, se invaluie in fum si scrum, citeste carti cu titluri ciudate si are o pasiune pentru abstract.
Are mult regrete, insa atunci cand le gandeste la rece, nu ar schimba nimic.
Se imbraca neadecvat si majoritatea oamenilor se intorc sa se uite, intr-un fel o dezgusta si o incanta in aceeasi masura.



...to be continued....

Before I leave this place:

I want to make sure iI did something big. I want to be remembered.
I want to have lived life to the fullest.
I want to reach that peaceful state of mind everyone seems to be talking about.
I want to love and be loved.
I want to travel to unusual places.
I want to learn how to play an instrument.
Go scuba diving.
Go to New York.
Make reckless decisions.
I want to make mistakes, a lot of them.
I want to have a cat, a cute fully cat.
Have kids, only two.
Have a wedding on the beach.
Leave my footprint on humanity.
Make an impact on someone's life.
Move to the seaside.
Get a tatto, wrist and jaw-line.
Write a book.
Organize an exhibition.
Sing in front of an audience.

...more is about to come...

Dust and Ashes

Something nice, something borrowed, something that you have once owned. Something that defines you and destroys you, something that burns, something that erases, creates, gives birth and adjusts everything. Something like you, like me, or us together, that flows with the wind and blows with the waves, something chaotic, hard to describe with simple words or be captured in a regular frame. Something that some people would call "magic", a word that I have stopped using when I realized that growing up would never allow me to keep any concept related to surrealism.
I got my notebook and a piece of blank paper, burnt everything and watched the ashes dissolving in a glass of water. As I took as many breaths as I could, thick dust was filling my lungs, as a constant reminder of my "idea of life", and I tried to swallow my pride, but I gagged and had to leave it where it was. Adulthood is a place for boring people, some would say, and I should agree with them, but since Neverland is nowhere to be found, we shall consume ourselves in the emptiness of these surroundings. 
All my seasons have faded, I compressed them in a book named "Memoirs", it is now covered with dust as it sat for too long on the shelves, in my room.
Exactly when I needed the most it appeared, it never went away, he kept his promise, I only wish I could have kept mine.

Wanna play?

                 Just sit there for a second, I have something for you; let`s play a game, I talk, you listen and after that we can share emotions. How about I tell you lies and you believe everything and after that I stab you in the heart? How about I`ll play with your mind and there is nothing you can do, so you`ll might as well enjoy it too. 
                How many times have you felt that way, but there was nothing you could do? How many times did you wish for it to stop, but it never did? How many times have you cried yourself to sleep because the amount of emotions was enormous and you were just an innocent soul. Were...because they killed it and transformed it into something dark. They sold it, after they played with it, as might as well considering throwing it away..it would not make any difference.
"And now we`re shocked to see that whatever she is on, it`s affecting her big time, we never saw her like that"
             You are standing now in front of the results of all your actions; hope you`re proud of yourself...you changed her in a way that will never allow her to change back. You took her innocence and her purity, you wanted to take her dreams too and you are now about to take her the hope that she is counting on right now. Hope that things will get better in time, the only thing that hasn`t betrayed her, yet.
            It would have been easier going away, just her, no interactions, in fact, that was what she craved for. That freedom of action that would have cut herself from everything that was hurting her.
            She loves the way she is, but not everything about her, there is a dark side inside her, and it`s winning space more and more as each day passes. She lies, she cheats, she gets away with it, but then it haunts her and it doesn`t give her peace. And she is disturbed because of the fact that every time she closes her eyes all she sees it`s what she did or what she wants to do...and those aren`t nice things.
Still, she enjoys it, she started to have a thing for other people`s misery, she somehow enjoys their suffering. Yet, she feels bad about it, she wont admit it, she just tries to live with it, and she does, but...though she wants it...she thinks about the consequences and that makes her feel guilty, though...there was no guilt in her desires, or decisions.
She has become this....halfperson, that caught her in a shadow so thick, she cannot find her way out of it.
And sometimes she really feels like she belongs there, but...there are moments when she realizes that that is only temporary, and that she will eventually come back to whatever it was that made her the way she used to be.

Lykke Li- Posibility

M-am tot gandit zilele astea la ce as putea face pe viitor, sa imi placa, sa imi aduca satisfactie si sa simt ca fac totul cu placere si mi-a venit in minte fix M by M.J , care, ca in fiecare an, are internship-uri incredibile in NY si Londra. Am rasfoit putin site-ul, m-am uitat la internship-urile disponibile si am dat doua email-uri.Amandoua sunt pe timp de vara si includ si marea agitatie cu Fashion Week and on and so forth.
Mi-am delectat ochii si am luat ideea in calcul, imbratisand-o cu entuziasmul unui chocolate addict aflat in magazinul cu dulciuri. Ma tenteaza enorm de tare New York-ul, mereu am avut un crush urias pentru marul urias, insa e atat de departe. Londra devine asa stearsa si insignifianta atunci cand sta pusa pe un taler, defavorizata fiind total de rivalul ei acerb.


Acum stam cuminti si asteptam sa vedem in ce consta exact internship-ul, cum e cu accommodation-ul si cu restul lucrurilor ce trebuie luate in calcul atunci cand iei o asemenea decizie.

Love,

A.

Graduation Review

“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case… princess.

When we were ten, they asked again and we answered – rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we’ve grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how ’bout this: who the hell knows?!

This isn’t the time to make hard and fast decisions, its time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love – a lot. Major in philosophy ’cause there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent.

So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… we won’t have to guess. We’ll know.”

-Anna Kendrick